It is said, 'When people are short of ideas, they are full of crap'. I don't know about you, but from my experience that's generally true. We know that it's also an axiom of logic that, 'if A then B, then if not B not A'. Reasoning logically, we can thus infer that, 'When people can't crap, they are full of ideas.' And I have been constipating for 3 days now and that's the best crap I can come up with? Why doesn't logic work when it comes to crap?

Public toilets in most places are crap but there's an easy way to make some things in them more functional. You will receive the opposite of your iQ, a positive Qi as they call it in Feng Sui, if you place toilet paper in the door handle right in front of you rather than have it on the side or in the back. If Feng Shui is about arranging objects to help people achieve their goals, this is a master arrangement. Just make sure there's enough space between the door and the handle so that the toilet paper rolls smoothly. It's also handy if someone calls you and you need to take notes in a piece of paper :D (read more)

you know a movie was great if you're a man sitting in an otherwise empty theater and you didn't notice nor took advantage of the situation when a beautiful woman sat next to you....you know a movie was great if you're a woman sitting in that otherwise empty theater and you didn't notice when your boyfriend proposed to you - twice!!...you know a movie must have been crap if you sat in that otherwise empty theater and kept hearing the slapping sounds in a man's face or the screams of a woman shouting "i do i do i do"...and yet, if the movie was so crap which do you think you should be entitled to? A refund? A ticket discount? Or free entrance to another movie?? :)

I had this debate with a friend of mine who comes from a little town. The argument was that in a small place where everyone knows each other word of mouth spreads very fast. Thus if a business wants to survive, they can't offer crap quality. While this doesn't mean you end up with world-class quality in small towns, at least the bottom crap gets eliminated. (read more)

they whine about losing business to GOOGLE and online media. NOBODY wants to buy your papers any more. if you want to stay in the paper business, print your news on toilet paper and distribute it daily to every public and private bathroom for a large discount to regular clean-ass paper. when i don't like what i read i can just wipe my ass with your crap and put it into good use. that's how i like to consume the tons of crap you're selling. i might consider using it to blow my nose too but that's only when you sell me something paperworthy.

what's your opinion?

I am so famous, it's ridiculous. In order to end this, I ask for your help. Don't talk about me with your friends and please don't reveal my identity. Being so famous makes any of my inner thoughts worth millions if my true identity is ever revealed. I would like to share some deep sentiments with you, those you won't find in gossip magazines and give you clues as to who I really am. The truth is I am mister nobody but the rest of the world doesn't think so. People think I am so special but I think it's all crap. I am a total mediocrity who likes to talk a lot about myself without saying anything really. Yet that makes others hook into me all the more. (read more)

I got my pants torn on a bar stool due to some small edgy part that shouldn't have been there roughing it up and tearing through! That's one in a million and that's exactly my luck with bad luck. What can I do now? My most expensive pair! I call for the manager who apologizes and offers an expensive bottle of wine to make it up. Feeling shitty crap and miserable I debate with myself whether I should throw the pants away or get it fixed. Even if I fix it it will still look bad. Bollocks! Here's what to do I'm told in an effort to cheer me up. (read more)

top reasons why a mac sucks :)

http://www.mac-sucks.com/switch_why.php


and don't even give me this crap that they are linux based

Look, I have been taught to be polite. So, in my case, if I am at a party with my family, I smile at someone. No harm done, right?

Well, to them-- yes. Some people look at me and just... glare. I mean, what have I done wrong? And then when my younger sister smiles at someone, they have a huge grin on their face. (read more)