My reasoning for starting a new bank is that creditworthy customers would rather trust that their money is held with a bank that is 100% free of toxic assets and that it won't go bust. People tell me I must be crazy to want to start a new bank because a) no one trusts banks any more and b) no one has money any more. I don't think b is true and a happens because existing banks have a lot of bad loans/investments in their books. A new bank that has none of it can earn the trust of creditworthy customers. It seems good business to me to want to start a new bank despite the turmoil in global finance.

When an economy goes into recession it would make sense if bank robberies were on the rise. A recession gives more reasons to steal a bank. Poor people need rich people's money and banks usually have it. Not this time. Bank robbers of the Robin Hood kind are very depressed. Why would they steal a bank? Whose money will they get away with? The Chief Executive Orcas have bonused away all the treasures and left huge losses for the adventurous Robin Hoods to bear. Whatever money is left in the bank is the people's money. For me, that's why this recession is so depressing and unfair. No Robins. No hoods either...

I think this story will turn into a very funny movie one day. I'm willing to bet my bank's money on it. Here's how it got reported on the news:

"The FBI in Denver is on the lookout for a serial bank robber dubbed the 'Shaggy Bandit' for his resemblance to cartoon canine Scooby-Doo's human sidekick...According to the FBI, the Shaggy Bandit enters a bank, approaches a teller and demands money. He displays a backpack and generally gets the money (!) and is out the door before any customers even know what is happening." (read more)

You think bankers have to be smart guys (to steal your money at least :-). I read the following incident, the french bank BBVA in Buenos Aires was undergoing restoration work and for that reason the owners of the bank decided to turn off alarms, disconnect circuit cameras and other security devices in order to make things easy for the workers. They were so smart that they didn't even bother to tell the local police station that the security would be turned off during the time of the restoration. So what happened? A bunch of more clever thieves dressed up in painters' uniform and wearing painters' masks, entered the bank pretending to do paint work and without any major trouble stole everything they could from it. (read more)

Now that Obama capped CEO compensation at $500,000, I am thinking of starting a new bank where Wall Street fat cats can park restricted stock bonuses, corporate jets, yachts and all sorts of ponzinous financial assets. Out of respect to the public, the bank's premises will be non-descript and decrepit-looking, the exact opposite of what a modern-day Poshbank would look like. Poshbanks are dread. Long leave my Scumbank in little Burglardeshi...

I was thinking, why doesn't it make sense to keep money under our mattresses? That's because it's inconvenient and not safe in the event of house theft. That's one reason we have banks. Since many banks were taken over by governments to survive the crisis, I figured there must be a way to deal with the inconvenience of having banks and the safety issue of keeping all our money with us be it under the mattress, inside it or over it. I mean, if we really wanted to do it, we could. Here's my thinking: (read more)

If I owe my bank $10,000 it's definitely my problem but if I can't pay my bank back $2 billion I owe them, is it my problem or is it theirs? There's this saying that small is beautiful, but what's so beautiful if I am a small business owner who can't renegotiate the terms of a loan because it's my problem to come up with the money? Banks are the institutions who suck up to you when you owe a lot but expect you to suck up to them when you owe a little. So unfair and yet so true.

How about a new type of loan for students or workers who want to take a year off (or more) in a foreign country and work as volunteers for a cause? The loan will be repaid in work hours, not in cash. The applicant will indicate how many hours he is willing to work a day and based on the minimum wage for the country calculate the total amount of the loan for the specified duration. The bank or other organization disperses the loan in daily installments based on whether the applicant checked for work or not that day. (read more)

If a common currency is good for the economy, I don't see how one can argue a common business language is not. We can't all possibly speak 25 languages but we can all learn a common one to use in every day transactions. Most of us understand English anyway. This is not about we all speak English and forget our history and identity. It's about making it easier to live and transact. Why do I have to pay 200 Euro to translate a simple bank document from Dutch to Greek when it could save me time and money if the Dutch bank gave me the form in English and I could just sign it in a day, instead of three? That's my point. Make it a requirement that all forms and paperwork are also provided in English in every country in Europe, not just in public service/government offices but also in the private sector.

Why waste a good ejaculation? Private booths will offer full privacy. If you donate, you get an extra dance for free :)))